The Mindset of Losing Weight & Getting Fit

Focus on the process, not the results.

It took me a long time to understand the concept. I've heard it a lot of times, but didn't really know what it meant. During my 123kg days, I was always focused on the results. I was concerned on what the scale said more than anything else during the process.

I ignored how I felt emotionally, I ignored my energy levels, I ignored how loose clothes started to feel. I was zoned in one the scale number, nothing else. I remember vividly a few instances where I wake up feeling great. Go to the mirror feel I look a tad smaller. Clothes I'm feeling felt looser, but the moment I stepped on the scale, there was no change...

... and I would just lose it.

Lose it not in the sense of go on a rampage of rage, but just completely roller coaster from feeling good to feeling like absolute crap. From being kinda happy with myself to hating myself, all cos of the number on the scale. Then I'd do a bunch of extreme stuff (starve myself, ungodly amounts of working out) which ultimately lead to binges and just a cycle of failure and unhappiness.

This weight loss journey I was one, this one that I lost over 50kg, is the first time I wasn’t as fixated on the scale like I was used to. I mean yes, the scale weight still bothered me tons, but I put so much more emphasis on my process this time. Thinking back, I believe I was inspired by something Will Smith once said:

“You don’t set out to build a wall. You don’t say ‘I’m going to build the biggest, baddest, greatest wall that’s ever been built’. You don’t start there. You say, ‘I’m going to lay this brick as perfectly as a brick can be laid.’ You do that every single day. And soon you have a wall.”

I used to chase a number on the scale. This time I shifted my mindset, and focused on doing what I can do as perfectly as I can every single day for my diet. The mindset helped keep going forward, even on the lowest days.

Over 650 “perfect” days later, I was 50kg lighter, and I reached my goal.

Focus on the process. Focus on making every day as perfect as you can. And soon…

… you’ll be at your goal.

“Can you give me a diet plan?”

I get DMs everyday asking this exact question. I wish I could. I really do. If I could come up with some kind of sustainable meal plan that’s a one size fits all for everyone I would.

But I can’t.

Especially not without knowing anything about you. To build a diet plan I’d have to know a lot more about you, such as:

1) Your favorite foods
2) Foods you don’t like
3) Foods you have easy access to daily
4) Your daily schedule
5) Your goals(beyond a number on the scale)
6) Your cooking skills (if any)
7) Medical details such as allergies
8) Your eating habits, tendencies
9) Your sleep schedule
10) Your exercise schedule
11) Your motivation level
12) How much are you willing to change from your current day to day routine
13) How you deal with change
14) Your relationship with food

And... I’m pretty sure I’m missing a few.

But..! These are all questions you most likely have the answers to for yourself. Having the answers, you could slowly build a diet plan for yourself.

The goal? To eat less, and move more. I know I know that’s simplifying it way too much. But it kinda does boil down to that...

How?

1) Steer towards eating a 80/20 balance. 80% nutrient rich whole foods such as fruits, vegetables and lean meats. And 20% of whatever you want.

2) Pick a physical activity. It could be anything from 5000 steps a day, hiking, dance, yoga to basketball, soccer, gym, running, anything. Choose your favorite, and keep a consistent schedule. Once a week, twice a week, doesn’t matter.

The goal is to be consistent. You can always turn up the frequency and intensity later.

And from there it's really just day in day out. Almost the same thing every single day. Striving to be a little bit better than yesterday each day. And keeping it up for as long as possible. Not weeks, not months, but years. Start as small as you feel comfortable, and work your way up as slow as you need to.

Consistent imperfection will always beat inconsistent perfection.

Always.

“How do I stay motivated?”

You gotta do something you like.

I think that’s the ultimate answer. I know I know, In the past I’ve said motivation is fleeting, and that it comes and goes, but I’ve been giving this a lot of thought lately and I think it’s possible to get it stay longer.

All of my failed diets in the past during my morbidly obese days, they all had one common theme...

... I hated it.

I’d be lying if I said I was OK with it. The only reason I’d be ok with it is because I was expecting results from it. I sure wasn’t expecting to be on the diet for the rest of my life. I wanted to get what I came for, and get outta there as soon as possible.

So what happened with my latest diet? The one that got me out of morbidly obese territory and into a normal weight within 2 years?

I didn’t hate it.

Yep, I’m being careful with my words. I didn’t hate it. I don’t love it, but I really don’t mind it at all. Many have told me, “oh you have to weigh all your food? And put it into an app? What kind of life is that? I could never live like that...” and they’re right.

Perhaps they can’t, but I can. I really don’t mind weighing food, inputting it into myfitnesspal, reviewing my food on a daily basis and cross checking that with my daily scale weight. I don’t mind it at all. If anything I feel comfortable.

I feel comfortable knowing I’m in full control of my weight. Will this suit you? I have no clue, but if it doesn’t I highly recommend you to not force yourself to like it. I’ve been there before. Trying to force myself to love a particular method because there’s so many testimonies about it, but in the end it was just prolonged misery for me.

So my current take on motivation?

You gotta do something you actually like. Or at the very least something that you don’t hate. That along with being realistic about the journey. Acknowledging that the journey doesn’t end when you hit your weight goal, and understanding that maintaining weight is as much work as losing weight.

I think that helps you to stay motivated.

"Can you suggest a diet for weight loss?"

I'm sorry but, I can't.

I would if I could, but I can’t.

Alright technically I could. I mean I could tell you to go on some ridiculous water fast, or detox or cleanse. And then convince you that the only way get there is to stick to the game plan for at least 14 days. It’s almost guaranteed results. I think somewhere in between is where I charge you a few bucks for the game plan?

But the moment you stop the extreme diet and go back to eating normally all the results suddenly disappear. So you’ll come back to me and ask “What happened?” And I’ll be all like, “well, you went for the standard version, here’s a better version that lasts longer” which in the concoction I add a few squeezes of lemon juice and charged you extra for it.

And that cycle repeats. You yo-yo up and down. And I would have made enough pocket change to eat McDonalds for life.

In all seriousness, I can’t cos I’d need so much more information about you to even point you at a general direction. The best diet isn’t about the exact amounts of food, nutrients, or calories.

It’s about figuring out a menu that you enjoy, which would a mean a higher chance that you stick to it, and the longer you can stick to it the better chance at a consistent caloric deficit or surplus depending on your goals.

It’s about building a relationship with food. Building long term sustainable habits that last a lifetime. It’s not going to happen over night. It’s an ongoing process that could last for years.

I feel the first step you take is to become more mindful and more aware of food. Be mindful of how much you’re eating, when you’re eating, why you’re eating.

Be aware of the different values of food. The difference between half a bowl of rice and a whole banana. You don’t need to know all the little details, but be aware of the similarities and differences.

I believe that in itself, will stir you to make better decisions, which in turn will help you build the best diet for you.